Nasruddin

Missive #651 Published 30 January 2026

124. Nasruddin’s Two Hands

Nasruddin was delighted to receive a dinner invitation from his friend.
He arrived early, and hungry, eager to try every single dish.
As the food was served, Nasruddin reached with both hands, grabbing for the meat and the bread, anything and everything he could reach, hurriedly stuffing the food into his mouth.
Finally one of the other dinner guests shouted, “Nasruddin! Your behavior is simply outrageous! Why are you grabbing at all the food and stuffing it into your mouth with your two hands like that?”
“Why?” repeated Nasruddin, his mouth full. “Because these two hands are all I’ve got!”

Missive #645 Published 23 January 2026

123. Honored Guests at the Banquet

Nasruddin was invited to a banquet. He rushed off immediately, imagining the fine food he would eat there.
But when he arrived in his shabby clothes, they seated him far from the main table, with nothing but bread to eat.
So Nasruddin ran home, put on his best clothes, and returned to the banquet. This time they seated him at the main table which was loaded with delicious food.
Nasruddin then began rubbing the food all over his clothes.
“What are you doing?” shouted the host.
“I’m feeding my clothes,” Nasruddin replied, “as they are the honored guests, not me.”

Missive #640 Published 16 January 2026

122. What a Beggar Needs

Nasruddin was walking down the street when a beggar accosted him.
“I know you,” said Nasruddin. “You like drinking coffee in the coffeehouse, don’t you?
The beggar nodded. “Yes, I do.”
“And the bathhouse? And drinking with your friends?”
The beggar kept nodding, and Nasruddin gave him a gold coin.
Nasruddin met a second beggar; he had overheard the first conversation.
“What about you?” asked Nasruddin. “The coffeehouse?”
“Never!” said the beggar.
“Bathhouse? Drinking?”
The beggar shook his head emphatically, and Nasruddin gave him a copper coin.
“I don’t understand!” complained the beggar.
“Your needs are fewer,” replied Nasruddin, smiling.

Missive #636 Published 9 January 2026

121. Nasruddin at the Bathhouse

Nasruddin went to the bathhouse.
When the attendant saw Nasruddin’s shabby clothes, he treated him poorly, giving him a threadbare towel and only a tiny piece of soap. Nevertheless, after Nasruddin finished his bath, he tipped the attendant very generously.
On his next visit, the attendant greeted Nasruddin with great respect, remembering the generous tip. He gave Nasruddin several luxurious towels and a new bar of soap. But when he left, Nasruddin gave the attendant no tip at all.
“That’s for last time,” Nasruddin explained, “and the tip I gave you last time was for this time. Now we’re even!”

Missive #629 Published 2 January 2026

120. Nasruddin’s Donkey for Sale

“That wretched donkey of mine ran away again,” said Nasruddin. “If he ever comes back, I’ll sell him for a single copper coin!”
The donkey came back, and Nasruddin regretted his reckless oath.
So, he took the cat, who was the donkey’s playmate, and put the cat in the donkey’s saddlebag. Then he went to the market.
“Buy this fine donkey for just one copper coin!” Nasruddin shouted. “But you must buy the cat too; the donkey would be heartbroken without him.”
“How much for the cat?” someone asked.
“The cat will cost you one hundred silver coins,” Nasruddin replied.

Missive #622 Published 26 December 2025

119. Nasruddin Looks for Work

Nasruddin desperately needed a job. He visited every shop, every workshop, every warehouse seeking employment.
Finally, he came to the warehouse of a merchant with a shady reputation.
“Do you have any job openings?” Nasruddin asked.
“Well,” said the merchant, “I am looking for a bookkeeper. How’s your arithmetic?”
“My arithmetic is excellent!” said Nasruddin enthusiastically.
“I’ll have to give you a test first. Are you ready?”
Nasruddin nodded.
“How much is two plus two?”
Nasruddin thought for a moment and then said in a low voice, “How much do you want it to be?”
“You’re hired!” said the merchant.

Missive #617 Published 19 December 2025

118. The Poor Man in the Coffeehouse

Nasruddin saw a stranger in the coffeehouse who looked very sad.
“Is something the matter?” Nasruddin asked him.
“I used to be rich!” said the man. “I lived in a mansion, and I had many servants. But I’ve lost it all: money, mansion, servants, everything. I can barely pay for this coffee. Soon I’ll be begging on the streets. I’m sick with worry.”
“Oh, you won’t have to feel like this for long,” Nasruddin assured him.
The man looked at Nasruddin eagerly. “Do you mean I’ll get rich again?”
“No,” said Nasruddin. “I mean you’ll get used to being poor.”

Missive #612 Published 12 December 2025

117. The Proper Way to Beg

A beggar approached Nasruddin on the street.
“Please, kind sir,” he said, “could you possibly give me a coin or two?”
Nasruddin was indignant. “It’s not at all proper for a rich man such as myself to give a beggar such a paltry sum.”
The beggar bowed apologetically. “Please, kind sir, forgive my mistake,” he said. “Could you possibly give me a hundred coins?”
Nasruddin became even more indignant. “It’s not at all proper for a beggar like yourself to ask a complete stranger to give him a hundred coins!” he exclaimed.
And with that, Nasruddin continued on his way.

Missive #608 Published 5 December 2025

116. A Loan from Nasruddin

Nasruddin’s neighbor needed a loan.
“I’m desperate!” he said. “Can you possibly loan me six hundred silver coins? Then just let me have one month to pay the loan back. One month is all I need, I swear!”
“You want me to give you six hundred silver coins, then a month to pay me back,” Nasruddin repeated. “Well, I can do half.”
“Bless you! Three hundred will be a big help.”
“That’s not what I meant,” said Nasruddin. “I don’t have any money at all to loan you, but you can have a month in which to pay me back.”