Nasruddin

Missive #675 Published 13 March 2026

130. Nasruddin is Tired

“Go to the market and buy some meat for tonight’s stew!” said Nasruddin’s wife.
“I’m tired,” he complained, but he went to the market.
Later on she said, “Bring in some firewood!”
“I’m tired,” he groaned, but he brought in the firewood.
Next she told him, “Fetch some water!”
“Didn’t you hear me say I was tired?” he moaned, but he brought the water.
“Come eat dinner!” she said.
“I can see there’s no point in telling you how tired I am,” Nasruddin sighed, and then he raced to the dinner table so fast he almost tripped over his robes.

Missive #672 Published 6 March 2026

129. Nasruddin and the Recipe

Nasruddin’s wife had written out the recipe for Nasruddin’s favorite liver-and onion dish and then she sent him to the market.
“Buy all the ingredients,” she said, “and make sure the liver is fresh.”
Walking home, Nasruddin was daydreaming about the fine dinner he would enjoy when out of nowhere a crow swooped down and attacked him. As Nasruddin defended himself, the crow snatched the liver and flew away with it.
“You accursed creature!” Nasruddin shouted as the crow flew away. “But the joke’s on you: you forgot the recipe. You don’t have any idea how to prepare the dish!”

Missive #668 Published 27 February 2026

128. Nasruddin and the Ducks

Nasruddin was walking home from the bakery with some fresh bread, and then he saw them: ducks! Several very beautiful, very fat ducks were swimming in the pond by the side of the road.
Nasruddin ran at top speed into the pond, hoping to catch one of them, but the ducks all flew away.
Nasruddin then began to eat the bread, pulling off pieces and ostentatiously dipping each piece in the water before he ate it.
A man walking along the road shouted, “Hey, Nasruddin, what are you doing there in the pond?”
“I’m eating duck soup!” he replied happily.

Missive #664 Published 20 February 2026

127. Nasruddin’s Big Pot

Nasruddin brought some friends home. He seated them at the table and then went into the kitchen.
“But we have no food!” his wife said. “No meat, no rice, no vegetables, nothing. We don’t even have wood to light a fire to cook with.”
“I’ll think of something,” said Nasruddin.
He looked around the kitchen, grabbed their biggest cooking pot, and went into the other room.
“Dear friends,” he said, “if we had any meat or rice or vegetables, or wood with which to light a fire, this is the pot I would use to cook a soup for you!”

Missive #659 Published 13 February 2026

126. The Miser’s Soup

A notorious miser had invited Nasruddin to dinner.
Nasruddin arrived at the appointed time and eagerly sat down at the dinner table.
“I have prepared soup, Nasruddin! I hope you will enjoy it,” said his host as he placed two bowls of soup on the table.
Nasruddin stared for a moment at his bowl and then, without a word, he got up and started to undress.
“Nasruddin, what on earth are you doing?”
“I’m going to dive into the soup bowl and see if there might be a bit of vegetable or even some meat down there at the bottom.”

Missive #655 Published 6 February 2026

125. Why People Yawn

Nasruddin was staying at the house of relatives in a distant town. He had arrived in time for dinner, but so far they hadn’t served him any food at all.
The evening was dragging on as his host regaled Nasruddin with stories in which Nasruddin had no interest.
Finally, Nasruddin could not help himself: he yawned.
This prompted his host to change the topic. “You are a learned man, Nasruddin,” he said. “Why is it that people yawn?”

“It’s either from lack of sleep or lack of food,” declared Nasruddin. “And I got a very good night’s sleep last night!”

Missive #651 Published 30 January 2026

124. Nasruddin’s Two Hands

Nasruddin was delighted to receive a dinner invitation from his friend.
He arrived early, and hungry, eager to try every single dish.
As the food was served, Nasruddin reached with both hands, grabbing for the meat and the bread, anything and everything he could reach, hurriedly stuffing the food into his mouth.
Finally one of the other dinner guests shouted, “Nasruddin! Your behavior is simply outrageous! Why are you grabbing at all the food and stuffing it into your mouth with your two hands like that?”
“Why?” repeated Nasruddin, his mouth full. “Because these two hands are all I’ve got!”

Missive #645 Published 23 January 2026

123. Honored Guests at the Banquet

Nasruddin was invited to a banquet. He rushed off immediately, imagining the fine food he would eat there.
But when he arrived in his shabby clothes, they seated him far from the main table, with nothing but bread to eat.
So Nasruddin ran home, put on his best clothes, and returned to the banquet. This time they seated him at the main table which was loaded with delicious food.
Nasruddin then began rubbing the food all over his clothes.
“What are you doing?” shouted the host.
“I’m feeding my clothes,” Nasruddin replied, “as they are the honored guests, not me.”

Missive #640 Published 16 January 2026

122. What a Beggar Needs

Nasruddin was walking down the street when a beggar accosted him.
“I know you,” said Nasruddin. “You like drinking coffee in the coffeehouse, don’t you?
The beggar nodded. “Yes, I do.”
“And the bathhouse? And drinking with your friends?”
The beggar kept nodding, and Nasruddin gave him a gold coin.
Nasruddin met a second beggar; he had overheard the first conversation.
“What about you?” asked Nasruddin. “The coffeehouse?”
“Never!” said the beggar.
“Bathhouse? Drinking?”
The beggar shook his head emphatically, and Nasruddin gave him a copper coin.
“I don’t understand!” complained the beggar.
“Your needs are fewer,” replied Nasruddin, smiling.

Missive #636 Published 9 January 2026

121. Nasruddin at the Bathhouse

Nasruddin went to the bathhouse.
When the attendant saw Nasruddin’s shabby clothes, he treated him poorly, giving him a threadbare towel and only a tiny piece of soap. Nevertheless, after Nasruddin finished his bath, he tipped the attendant very generously.
On his next visit, the attendant greeted Nasruddin with great respect, remembering the generous tip. He gave Nasruddin several luxurious towels and a new bar of soap. But when he left, Nasruddin gave the attendant no tip at all.
“That’s for last time,” Nasruddin explained, “and the tip I gave you last time was for this time. Now we’re even!”