Nasruddin

Missive #794 Published 18 Sep 2026

157. Nasruddin Sees as God Sees

Nasruddin was preaching about the divine mysteries. “A thousand years on earth are but one second in God’s time,” he proclaimed. “Let us see as God sees in order that we may make a heaven on this earth.”
“What a fine sermon!” said Nasruddin’s neighbor afterwards. “I’m wondering if money works the same way as time. What do a thousand gold coins mean to you?”
“They mean less than a single copper coin!” Nasruddin replied.
“In that case, could you loan me a thousand gold coins?”
“Of course!” said Nasruddin. “Just wait a divine second while I go get them.”

Missive #790 Published 11 Sep 2026

156. Who Gets the Loaf of Bread?

Nasruddin was traveling together with an ascetic and a scholar, and they had found four loaves of bread.
They each ate one loaf, and then quarreled about the fourth.
Nobody wanted to share, so Nasruddin said, “Whoever has the best dream gets the bread!”
The next morning, the ascetic said, “I dreamed I kissed God’s feet. What could top that?”
The scholar said, “My dream’s better: God embraced me and praised my wisdom!”
Then Nasruddin said, “In my dream, God came to me and said, ‘Nasruddin, what are you lying there for? Go eat the bread now!’ So I did.”

Missive #781 Published 28 Aug 2026

154. Nasruddin Needs New Shoes

Nasruddin wasn’t a wealthy man. His clothes were threadbare, and his shoes were even worse, much to Nasruddin’s shame. He wanted to buy new shoes, but he couldn’t even afford to pay the shoemaker to repair his old shoes.
A friend sought to console him. “Don’t worry, Nasruddin,” he said. “Your shoes may be shabby now, but God has promised that anyone suffering from need and want in this world will be rewarded in Paradise.”
“I was thinking about that,” replied Nasruddin, “and I realized there must be a lot of angels who are working as shoemakers there in Paradise.”

Missive #777 Published 21 Aug 2026

153. Nasruddin’s Hurried Prayers

Nasruddin was in a hurry when he went into the mosque to say his prayers.
When the imam saw how quickly Nasruddin was praying, he hit Nasruddin on the head. “Say your prayers again!” he commanded. “And show some respect this time.”
Nasruddin said his prayers again, more slowly.
“That was better!” said the imam. “I’m sure God was more pleased with your prayers the second time than the first time.”
“I’m not so sure,” said Nasruddin. “The first time I said my prayers in obedience to God, but the second time I said my prayers in obedience to you.”

Missive #774 Published 14 Aug 2026

152. Nasruddin and the Ship’s Passengers

Nasruddin was working on a ship, but he still made sure to say his daily prayers. The passengers all laughed at him, though, and they did not say their prayers.
Then, a sudden storm blew up and the ship was in danger of sinking. All the passengers began to pray loudly to God.
“O God,” each passenger shouted, “you are great and merciful! Spare us! Please! I’ll be a good Muslim! I’ll dedicate my life to your service!”
After a while, Nasruddin shouted, “I see land ahead. We’re saved!” And then he added, “You can stop your pretended devotions now.”

Missive #768 Published 7 Aug 2026

151. Nasruddin and the Small Boat

Nasruddin had gone fishing with a friend in a very small sailboat.
While they were far from shore, a sudden storm blew up unexpectedly. Fierce winds ripped the sails to shreds and waves tossed the boat back and forth.
When the little boat began to fill with water, Nasruddin was truly frightened. “What are we going to do?” he shouted at his friend.
“Do not worry,” said his friend calmly. “Let us direct our prayers to God, who is great and merciful.”
“God is great and merciful, I know,” replied Nasruddin, “but this boat is small and it is sinking!”

Missive #764 Published 31 Jul 2026

150. Nasruddin on the Run

Nasruddin was making a journey through the mountains when he was attacked by a band of robbers. Thanks to some good luck he was able to escape, but he knew the robbers were not far behind him.
As he ran, he saw a wandering holy man beside the road. “Hide yourself!” Nasruddin shouted at the dervish. “Robbers are coming! They’ll kill you for sure!”
“I serve God,” replied the dervish, “and I know he will protect me.”
“Well, that’s good,” said Nasruddin as he disappeared down the road. “But just in case, you might want to find a hiding place!”

Missive #761 Published 24 Jul 2026

149. Nasruddin and the Stray Goat

A stray goat wandered into Nasruddin’s yard. Nasruddin killed the goat and told his wife to cook the meat in a stew.
The goat stew was delicious, but then Nasruddin felt guilty about what he had done and confessed to his wife.
“You have committed a sin!” she shouted, shaking her fist at her husband. “God will call you to account.”
“Then I’ll tell God I never saw the goat,” said Nasruddin.
“God might resurrect the goat as a witness!” his wife replied.
Nasruddin smiled and said, “Then I’ll grab the goat and give it back to its real owner.”

Missive #757 Published 17 Jul 2026

148. Nasruddin and his Dog

The imam came to see Nasruddin and discovered there was a dog in Nasruddin’s kitchen.
“What is this unclean beast doing in your kitchen?” he shouted.
“This is my watchdog,” said Nasruddin. “He’s also good at herding goats.”
“You must drive this dog out of your house before God sends his avenging angels to punish you!”
“About those angels,” said Nasruddin, “are they going to watch out for thieves and herd my goats?”
“Of course not!” exclaimed the imam. “That’s not a job for God’s angels.”
“Well then,” said Nasruddin, “I think I’m going to have to keep my dog.”