Nasruddin

Missive #733 Published 12 Jun 2026

143. The Donkey on the Ledge

As Nasruddin was leading his donkey down a steep mountain path, the donkey stumbled and fell.
“O God,” Nasruddin shouted, “if you save my poor donkey, I’ll donate a gold coin to the mosque!”
Miraculously, the donkey landed on the ledge below. Nasruddin was amazed. “Thank you, God!” he exclaimed. “I had no idea you were so desperate for cash!”
Then the ledge under the donkey started to crumble.
“Okay, God, okay! I’ll donate two gold coins.”
Then the ledge collapsed and the donkey plunged to its death. Nasruddin sighed. “I never thought God would drive such a hard bargain.”

Missive #727 Published 5 Jun 2026

142. Nasruddin Needs New Clothes

The whole town had put on their best clothes for the mayor’s birthday parade.
Ashamed of his threadbare garments, Nasruddin was hiding in an alley as the parade went by. “O God,” he prayed, “please give me some new clothes!”
At that moment, a man who had bought new clothes for the celebration threw his old clothes down into the alley. Joyfully, Nasruddin grabbed the bundle, only to discover these clothes were even more shabby than his own.
“God,” said Nasruddin, “you’re going to have to do better than this!” and he threw the bundle back up in the air.

Missive #722 Published 29 May 2026

141. Nasruddin Gets a Gift from God

Nasruddin was praying outside one night. “O God” he cried, “please reward me for my devoted service. I’m asking for a hundred gold coins, and I’ll accept nothing less.”
Nasruddin’s neighbor heard this and, as a joke, he tossed down a bag containing some coins.
“Praise God!” Nasruddin exclaimed when he opened the bag and saw the money.
“Wait a minute!” shouted the neighbor. “You said you’d accept nothing less than a hundred gold coins. There’s nowhere near that much in the bag.”
“Since God kindly gave me this much now,” Nasruddin shouted back, “he can owe me the rest.”

Missive #716 Published 22 May 2026

140. Nasruddin’s Debt

Desperate for money, Nasruddin put his winter coat up for sale, and he soon found a buyer.
“Wait here,” the buyer said, taking the coat. “I’ll be right back with the money.”
But the man did not come back, so Nasruddin lost his coat and still had no money.
As he walked past the baker’s shop, he quietly grabbed some pastries which he took home for supper.
“O God,” said Nasruddin, “I need you to please pay the baker for these pastries! You can just take it out of the money the man still owes me for my winter coat.”

Missive #713 Published 15 May 2026

139. Walnuts and Watermelons

One afternoon, Nasruddin was resting in the shade of a walnut tree next to a watermelon patch.
“What a strange world this is!” he exclaimed. “Tiny walnuts are growing on this enormous tree, while the watermelons are lying there in the dirt, growing on those scrawny vines. If I were in charge, I’d arrange things in a much more logical way.”
Then a walnut happened to fall on Nasruddin’s head.
“Praise God, now I understand!” he exclaimed. “It is because of Divine Providence that I was hit on the head by this tiny walnut and not by an enormous watermelon.”

Missive #708 Published 8 May 2026

138. Nasruddin Divides the Walnuts

“Help us!” the boys said to Nasruddin. “We have this bag of walnuts but we don’t know how to divide them.”
“Do you want to divide them God’s way, or the human way?”
“God’s way!” shouted the boys.
So Nasruddin gave two handfuls to one boy, a handful to another, a few walnuts to the third, and none to the fourth.
The boys looked at him in confusion.
“All things come from God, not just walnuts,” Nasruddin explained. “Life itself is a gift from God! As for walnuts: he gives more to some, less to others, and some get none.”

Missive #703 Published 1 May 2026

“Nothing but bread and cheese,” Nasruddin would say each day as he looked longingly at the food the other men had for their lunch. He saw dolmas, kebabs, tabbouleh, yogurt, pilaf, all kinds of food.
“You complain like this every day,” one of the men said to Nasruddin. “You should tell your wife to make you something different for lunch.”
“I’m not married,” said Nasruddin.
“Who makes your lunch then?”
“I do,” Nasruddin admitted, staring sadly at his bread and cheese.

Missive #700 Published 24 April 2026

136. Nasruddin and the Baklava

Nasruddin was a holy man’s disciple.
Another disciple brought their master a plate of baklava, and he didn’t want Nasruddin to eat any.
“This is from our master’s enemies,” he told Nasruddin. “I suspect it’s poisoned, so don’t touch it!”
The disciple left, and Nasruddin couldn’t resist. He grabbed the baklava, but he dropped the plate. Crash!
The other disciple rushed in to see what had happened and found Nasruddin down on all fours, eating baklava.
“I dropped the plate!” Nasruddin confessed. “In my shame, I wanted to die, so I’m eating as much of the poison as I can.”

Missive #695 Published 17 April 2026

135. Nasruddin and the Box

Nasruddin’s friend gave him a box for safekeeping. “I’ll be back to collect it tomorrow or the day after. But whatever you do, don’t look in the box!”
“I understand,” said Nasruddin. “Don’t worry.”
“Thank you!” said Nasruddin’s friend, and he left.
Of course Nasruddin immediately opened the box. There was baklava inside!
He ate one piece.
Then another.
And another.
Finally he had eaten it all.
When his friend returned for the box, he opened it and saw it was empty.
“What happened to the baklava?” he asked.
“Don’t ask,” Nasruddin replied, “and I won’t have to tell you.”

Missive #690 Published 10 April 2026

134. Where’s the Halvah?

Nasruddin went to the grocer.
“I want some halvah, please,” he said.
“My apologies,” said the grocer. “I don’t have any halvah.”
“That’s impossible!” exclaimed Nasruddin. “How can a grocer not have halvah? I simply don’t understand. Tell me: do you have any flour?”
“Yes,” said the grocer.
“And what about sugar? Do you have any sugar?”
“Yes,” said the grocer.
“And do you have butter? Surely you have butter!”
“Yes,” said the grocer.
“So, isn’t it obvious? Everything you need is here!” Nasruddin concluded. “If you have flour and sugar and butter, why don’t you go make some halvah?”