Nasruddin

Missive #825 Published 6 Nov 2026

164. What Is Bread?

Some renowned wise men challenged Nasruddin to a contest. Nasruddin agreed, provided he could ask the first question.
This was his question: What is bread?
The wise men wrote their answers on pieces of paper. Nasruddin then read their answers aloud:
Bread is made with flour and water.
Bread is my favorite food.
Bread is a gift of God.
Bread is delicious.
Bread is baked in an oven.
Bread is the staff of life.
Nasruddin sighed. “These supposed wise men cannot even agree what bread is! Why then should we listen to what they say about matters of real difficulty?”

Missive #821 Published 30 Oct 2026

163. The Eagle Jaliz

A scholar was boasting about his knowledge of Islamic traditions. What color was Mohammad’s horse? The scholar knew. What is the favorite food of the angels? He knew that too.
Eager to display his knowledge, Nasruddin shouted out, “Jaliz!”
The scholar stared at him coldly. “Is that some kind of name?”
“It’s the name of the eagle who swooped down and carried Moses away,” replied Nasruddin.
“But there is no record of an eagle swooping down and carrying Moses away.”
“Well,” retorted Nasruddin, “then Jaliz is the name of the eagle who did not swoop down and carry Moses away.”

Missive #817 Published 23 Oct 2026

162. The Turban of a Scholar

People who could not read would sometimes bring letters to Nasruddin so that he could read the letters to them.
One man had brought Nasruddin a letter to read, but the handwriting was terrible.
“This is the worst handwriting I have ever seen,” said Nasruddin. “I can’t read this letter.”
The man was indignant. “You wear the turban of a scholar, but you can’t even read a simple letter from my brother.”
Nasruddin pulled the turban off his head and threw it at the man. “Go ahead! Take the turban,” he said, “and see if you can do any better!”

Missive #812 Published 16 Oct 2026

161. Nasruddin’s Tears

Nasruddin’s wife had just given birth, but the baby was restless. She rocked the baby, sang to him, doing everything she could to lull the infant to sleep, but nothing seemed to work.
“I’ll take care of it,” said Nasruddin.
“You don’t know anything about babies!” his wife replied.
“But I know how to put people to sleep,” said Nasruddin. “My pupils often fall asleep during my lectures. I’ll try lecturing first, and if that doesn’t work, I’ll give him this boring book to read.” Nasruddin took a book down off the shelf. “It puts me to sleep every time!”

Missive #808 Published 9 Oct 2026

160. Nasruddin’s Tears

The imam of Nasruddin’s village was delivering a sermon about the prophets, extolling their excellent qualities and illustrious deeds.
As the imam was speaking, Nasruddin began to weep loudly.
“Behold this man’s sincere devotion!” the imam exclaimed. “My sermon has moved him to tears.”
“It’s true,” said Nasruddin, sobbing. “This morning, I woke up to discover that my favorite goat had suddenly passed away, and it broke my heart. As I watch your beard wagging back and forth as you speak, it makes me think of my poor dead goat, and I can’t help but weep these tears of sorrow.”

Missive #803 Published 2 Oct 2026

159. Nasruddin by Night

“You wouldn’t know it just by looking at me,” said Nasruddin, “but I have truly miraculous powers.”
Nasruddin’s friend laughed. “So tell me,” he said, “what is your most miraculous power?”
“I can see in the dark! In the darkest darkness, I can see as clearly as if it were broad daylight. I need no light of any kind.”
“Surely you’re joking!” his friend objected. “I’ve seen you carrying a lantern in the dark, just like everybody else does.”
“Of course!” said Nasruddin, smiling. “But I carry a lantern in the dark only so that others won’t run into me.”

Missive #798 Published 25 Sep 2026

158. Nasruddin Commands the Tree

“I’m actually a saint,” Nasruddin told his neighbor. “And as a saint, I have supernatural powers.”
“Prove it!” said his neighbor. “If you have supernatural powers, command that tree over there to come here and bow down to you.”
“O Tree,” shouted Nasruddin, “come here and bow down to me!”
The tree did not move.
Nasruddin waited a moment, and then he walked over to the tree and bowed down before it.
“What are you doing?” asked his neighbor.
“Saints like me are also very modest,” Nasruddin explained. “If the tree won’t come to me, I’ll go to the tree.”

Missive #794 Published 18 Sep 2026

157. Nasruddin Sees as God Sees

Nasruddin was preaching about the divine mysteries. “A thousand years on earth are but one second in God’s time,” he proclaimed. “Let us see as God sees in order that we may make a heaven on this earth.”
“What a fine sermon!” said Nasruddin’s neighbor afterwards. “I’m wondering if money works the same way as time. What do a thousand gold coins mean to you?”
“They mean less than a single copper coin!” Nasruddin replied.
“In that case, could you loan me a thousand gold coins?”
“Of course!” said Nasruddin. “Just wait a divine second while I go get them.”

Missive #790 Published 11 Sep 2026

156. Who Gets the Loaf of Bread?

Nasruddin was traveling together with an ascetic and a scholar, and they had found four loaves of bread.
They each ate one loaf, and then quarreled about the fourth.
Nobody wanted to share, so Nasruddin said, “Whoever has the best dream gets the bread!”
The next morning, the ascetic said, “I dreamed I kissed God’s feet. What could top that?”
The scholar said, “My dream’s better: God embraced me and praised my wisdom!”
Then Nasruddin said, “In my dream, God came to me and said, ‘Nasruddin, what are you lying there for? Go eat the bread now!’ So I did.”