Nasruddin

Missive #812 Published 16 Oct 2026

161. Nasruddin’s Tears

Nasruddin’s wife had just given birth, but the baby was restless. She rocked the baby, sang to him, doing everything she could to lull the infant to sleep, but nothing seemed to work.
“I’ll take care of it,” said Nasruddin.
“You don’t know anything about babies!” his wife replied.
“But I know how to put people to sleep,” said Nasruddin. “My pupils often fall asleep during my lectures. I’ll try lecturing first, and if that doesn’t work, I’ll give him this boring book to read.” Nasruddin took a book down off the shelf. “It puts me to sleep every time!”

Missive #808 Published 9 Oct 2026

160. Nasruddin’s Tears

The imam of Nasruddin’s village was delivering a sermon about the prophets, extolling their excellent qualities and illustrious deeds.
As the imam was speaking, Nasruddin began to weep loudly.
“Behold this man’s sincere devotion!” the imam exclaimed. “My sermon has moved him to tears.”
“It’s true,” said Nasruddin, sobbing. “This morning, I woke up to discover that my favorite goat had suddenly passed away, and it broke my heart. As I watch your beard wagging back and forth as you speak, it makes me think of my poor dead goat, and I can’t help but weep these tears of sorrow.”

Missive #803 Published 2 Oct 2026

159. Nasruddin by Night

“You wouldn’t know it just by looking at me,” said Nasruddin, “but I have truly miraculous powers.”
Nasruddin’s friend laughed. “So tell me,” he said, “what is your most miraculous power?”
“I can see in the dark! In the darkest darkness, I can see as clearly as if it were broad daylight. I need no light of any kind.”
“Surely you’re joking!” his friend objected. “I’ve seen you carrying a lantern in the dark, just like everybody else does.”
“Of course!” said Nasruddin, smiling. “But I carry a lantern in the dark only so that others won’t run into me.”

Missive #798 Published 25 Sep 2026

158. Nasruddin Commands the Tree

“I’m actually a saint,” Nasruddin told his neighbor. “And as a saint, I have supernatural powers.”
“Prove it!” said his neighbor. “If you have supernatural powers, command that tree over there to come here and bow down to you.”
“O Tree,” shouted Nasruddin, “come here and bow down to me!”
The tree did not move.
Nasruddin waited a moment, and then he walked over to the tree and bowed down before it.
“What are you doing?” asked his neighbor.
“Saints like me are also very modest,” Nasruddin explained. “If the tree won’t come to me, I’ll go to the tree.”

Missive #794 Published 18 Sep 2026

157. Nasruddin Sees as God Sees

Nasruddin was preaching about the divine mysteries. “A thousand years on earth are but one second in God’s time,” he proclaimed. “Let us see as God sees in order that we may make a heaven on this earth.”
“What a fine sermon!” said Nasruddin’s neighbor afterwards. “I’m wondering if money works the same way as time. What do a thousand gold coins mean to you?”
“They mean less than a single copper coin!” Nasruddin replied.
“In that case, could you loan me a thousand gold coins?”
“Of course!” said Nasruddin. “Just wait a divine second while I go get them.”

Missive #790 Published 11 Sep 2026

156. Who Gets the Loaf of Bread?

Nasruddin was traveling together with an ascetic and a scholar, and they had found four loaves of bread.
They each ate one loaf, and then quarreled about the fourth.
Nobody wanted to share, so Nasruddin said, “Whoever has the best dream gets the bread!”
The next morning, the ascetic said, “I dreamed I kissed God’s feet. What could top that?”
The scholar said, “My dream’s better: God embraced me and praised my wisdom!”
Then Nasruddin said, “In my dream, God came to me and said, ‘Nasruddin, what are you lying there for? Go eat the bread now!’ So I did.”

Missive #781 Published 28 Aug 2026

154. Nasruddin Needs New Shoes

Nasruddin wasn’t a wealthy man. His clothes were threadbare, and his shoes were even worse, much to Nasruddin’s shame. He wanted to buy new shoes, but he couldn’t even afford to pay the shoemaker to repair his old shoes.
A friend sought to console him. “Don’t worry, Nasruddin,” he said. “Your shoes may be shabby now, but God has promised that anyone suffering from need and want in this world will be rewarded in Paradise.”
“I was thinking about that,” replied Nasruddin, “and I realized there must be a lot of angels who are working as shoemakers there in Paradise.”

Missive #777 Published 21 Aug 2026

153. Nasruddin’s Hurried Prayers

Nasruddin was in a hurry when he went into the mosque to say his prayers.
When the imam saw how quickly Nasruddin was praying, he hit Nasruddin on the head. “Say your prayers again!” he commanded. “And show some respect this time.”
Nasruddin said his prayers again, more slowly.
“That was better!” said the imam. “I’m sure God was more pleased with your prayers the second time than the first time.”
“I’m not so sure,” said Nasruddin. “The first time I said my prayers in obedience to God, but the second time I said my prayers in obedience to you.”

Missive #774 Published 14 Aug 2026

152. Nasruddin and the Ship’s Passengers

Nasruddin was working on a ship, but he still made sure to say his daily prayers. The passengers all laughed at him, though, and they did not say their prayers.
Then, a sudden storm blew up and the ship was in danger of sinking. All the passengers began to pray loudly to God.
“O God,” each passenger shouted, “you are great and merciful! Spare us! Please! I’ll be a good Muslim! I’ll dedicate my life to your service!”
After a while, Nasruddin shouted, “I see land ahead. We’re saved!” And then he added, “You can stop your pretended devotions now.”