Nasruddin

Missive #378 Published 1 November 2024

59. Who Will Feed the Donkey?

Nasruddin and his wife were arguing about whose turn it was to feed the donkey. Finally they agreed: whoever spoke the next word would have to go feed the donkey.

So, neither one spoke a word all day.

And neither one spoke a word all evening.

In the night, a thief came and broke into their house.

Nasruddin saw him carrying away their clothes, their furniture, everything, but he said nothing at all.

In the morning, his wife saw what had happened and yelled, “We’ve been robbed!”

Nasruddin laughed in triumph. “And now you have to go feed the donkey!”

Missive #373 Published 25 October 2024

58. Nasruddin’s Two Wives

Nasruddin had two wives and he loved them both, but they were very jealous of one another, always competing for his affections.

In order to make peace in the house, Nasruddin got two identical green ribbons. He took each wife aside in private and gave her one of the ribbons. “Wear this under your clothes, but secretly; don’t show or tell anyone.”

The next time the two wives ambushed him, asking which of them he loved more, Nasruddin smiled and said, “All I will say is that the one wearing the green ribbon is the one I love the most.”

Missive #367 Published 18 October 2024

57. The Sound of a Cloak

Nasruddin and his wife were arguing loudly, and the neighbors heard everything, as usual.

But then there was a loud bump bump bump and finally a big thump.

The arguing stopped after that, and the neighbors wondered what had happened.

The next day one of the neighbors said to Nasruddin, “What happened last night? Is everything okay at your house?”

“Everything’s fine!” Nasruddin replied. “My wife just threw my cloak down the stairs.”

“I didn’t think a cloak could have made that much noise,” said the neighbor.

“Well,” Nasruddin admitted, “I happened to be wearing the cloak at the time.”

Missive #363 Published 11 October 2024

56. Spouses, Past and Present

Nasruddin’s wife died, and eventually he married again. The woman he married was also widowed.

One night as they were lying in bed, Nasruddin’s wife began to reminisce about her late husband. “He was so strong, and so handsome!” she said. Then she added, “Unlike some people I know.”

“My late wife,” said Nasruddin, “was so beautiful, and such a good cook.” Then he added, “Unlike some people I know.”

As they quarreled, the bed suddenly collapsed underneath them, throwing them both on the floor.

“I didn’t think our bed would be strong enough to hold four people,” Nasruddin observed.

Missive #354 Published 27 September 2024

54. Itching and Scratching

Nasruddin and his wife lived in a small house and shared a small bed; they had just a single pillow.

One night Nasruddin’s head itched so badly that the itchy feeling woke him up. He scratched and scratched, but it didn’t do any good. “What an itch!” he thought to himself.

Then his wife yelled, “Stop scratching my head! I’m trying to sleep.”

“My apologies, dearest,” said Nasruddin. “Go back to sleep.”

Nasruddin then felt around until he found his own head.

“Ah,” he said to himself, happily scratching the itch. “That explains it. I was scratching the wrong head.”