Nasruddin

Missive #399 Published 29 November 2024

63. Nasruddin in the Cupboard

During the night, Nasruddin heard robbers ransacking his house, so he quietly crept downstairs and hid in the cupboard. He then listened as the robbers worked their way through the house, cursing and swearing. They were not able to find anything worth stealing, and Nasruddin could tell they were getting more and more angry.

Finally, one of the robbers opened the cupboard door and discovered Nasruddin there, cowering in his nightshirt.

“What are you doing in this cupboard?” the robber yelled at him.

“I’m hiding here in shame,” said Nasruddin apologetically, “because there is nothing worth stealing in my house.”

Missive #393 Published 22 November 2024

62. Nasruddin Was Robbed

Nasruddin and his wife returned home after a long journey to find that robbers had broken into their home and stolen everything.

Of course, everyone had their own opinion about what had happened.

“You probably forgot to lock the door!” Nasruddin’s wife exclaimed.

“I told you to put bars on the windows!” said a friend.

“Leaving the house unattended for such a long time is very risky!” observed a neighbor.

Everyone chimed in, and they all blamed Nasruddin.

Finally, Nasruddin couldn’t take it anymore and shouted, “Is there no one here who will put the blame on the actual robbers?”

Missive #389 Published 15 November 2024

61. The Bread in the Pond

Nasruddin’s son was walking by the pond eating some bread. When he leaned over to look in the water, the bread fell out of his hand.

Then he saw that another boy in the pond had taken his bread, so he ran home crying and told his father what had happened. “Someone in the pond stole my bread!” he sobbed.

Nasruddin went to the pond and looked in the water. He saw a bearded man, about his own age.

“Hey there, old man!” he shouted. “You ought to be ashamed of yourself, stealing bread from a little boy like that.”

Missive #383 Published 8 November 2024

60. The Burglar in the Well

Nasruddin awoke to the sound of a burglar outside. He crept into the yard but saw nobody, and then he looked in the well. Sure enough, he saw a man’s face in the water.

“Don’t you even think about trying to escape!” he shouted down at the burglar.

He then rushed inside to get dressed. “I’ll fetch the police!” he said. “You go keep an eye on the burglar in the well!”

His wife hurried outside and peered down into the well.

“Oh, I see another one!” she shouted. “He must have brought his wife with him as an accomplice.”

Missive #378 Published 1 November 2024

59. Who Will Feed the Donkey?

Nasruddin and his wife were arguing about whose turn it was to feed the donkey. Finally they agreed: whoever spoke the next word would have to go feed the donkey.

So, neither one spoke a word all day.

And neither one spoke a word all evening.

In the night, a thief came and broke into their house.

Nasruddin saw him carrying away their clothes, their furniture, everything, but he said nothing at all.

In the morning, his wife saw what had happened and yelled, “We’ve been robbed!”

Nasruddin laughed in triumph. “And now you have to go feed the donkey!”

Missive #373 Published 25 October 2024

58. Nasruddin’s Two Wives

Nasruddin had two wives and he loved them both, but they were very jealous of one another, always competing for his affections.

In order to make peace in the house, Nasruddin got two identical green ribbons. He took each wife aside in private and gave her one of the ribbons. “Wear this under your clothes, but secretly; don’t show or tell anyone.”

The next time the two wives ambushed him, asking which of them he loved more, Nasruddin smiled and said, “All I will say is that the one wearing the green ribbon is the one I love the most.”

Missive #367 Published 18 October 2024

57. The Sound of a Cloak

Nasruddin and his wife were arguing loudly, and the neighbors heard everything, as usual.

But then there was a loud bump bump bump and finally a big thump.

The arguing stopped after that, and the neighbors wondered what had happened.

The next day one of the neighbors said to Nasruddin, “What happened last night? Is everything okay at your house?”

“Everything’s fine!” Nasruddin replied. “My wife just threw my cloak down the stairs.”

“I didn’t think a cloak could have made that much noise,” said the neighbor.

“Well,” Nasruddin admitted, “I happened to be wearing the cloak at the time.”

Missive #363 Published 11 October 2024

56. Spouses, Past and Present

Nasruddin’s wife died, and eventually he married again. The woman he married was also widowed.

One night as they were lying in bed, Nasruddin’s wife began to reminisce about her late husband. “He was so strong, and so handsome!” she said. Then she added, “Unlike some people I know.”

“My late wife,” said Nasruddin, “was so beautiful, and such a good cook.” Then he added, “Unlike some people I know.”

As they quarreled, the bed suddenly collapsed underneath them, throwing them both on the floor.

“I didn’t think our bed would be strong enough to hold four people,” Nasruddin observed.

Missive #354 Published 27 September 2024

54. Itching and Scratching

Nasruddin and his wife lived in a small house and shared a small bed; they had just a single pillow.

One night Nasruddin’s head itched so badly that the itchy feeling woke him up. He scratched and scratched, but it didn’t do any good. “What an itch!” he thought to himself.

Then his wife yelled, “Stop scratching my head! I’m trying to sleep.”

“My apologies, dearest,” said Nasruddin. “Go back to sleep.”

Nasruddin then felt around until he found his own head.

“Ah,” he said to himself, happily scratching the itch. “That explains it. I was scratching the wrong head.”