Nasruddin

Missive #411 Published20 December 2024

66. The Thief with a Wagon…

A friend wrote recently about a decrease in his Heart Rate Variability (HRV) which caused me to do some research. I didn't know much about it except that it was the 'pause' between heart beats. What I found out was that my Polar Pacer watch, through Polar Flow, provides that data for me. From what I have read the best time to measure HRV is when you first get up in the morning. Since I have been wearing my watch at night with the continuous heart rate option turned on I'm capturing that data.

Missive #406 Published 13 December 2024

65. Bags of Loot

Nasruddin’s wife woke him in the middle of the night. “I heard burglars!” she whispered. “I saw them leaving their bags of loot in the garden, and then I heard them come into our house. It sounds like they’re in the kitchen.”

Nasruddin leaped out of bed, pulled on his clothes, and began to climb out of the bedroom window into the garden.

“What are you doing?” his wife asked.

“I’m going to sneak outside,” Nasruddin whispered, “and steal the loot from other people’s houses while the thieves waste their time looking for something worth stealing here inside our house.”

Missive #402 Published 6 December 2024

64. The Burglar in the Dark

Nasruddin awoke to the sound of a burglar in his house. He got up, crept downstairs, and found the burglar stuffing all kinds of household objects into his sack.

“Excuse me,” said Nasruddin, startling the burglar, who stared at Nasruddin in surprise.

“It’s dark now, of course,” continued Nasruddin, “so it’s entirely possible you don’t realize what you’re doing. You seem to think these objects have some kind of value. But the fact is that they don’t have any value at all. I’ve seen these objects in broad daylight, and I can assure you that everything here is completely worthless.”

Missive #399 Published 29 November 2024

63. Nasruddin in the Cupboard

During the night, Nasruddin heard robbers ransacking his house, so he quietly crept downstairs and hid in the cupboard. He then listened as the robbers worked their way through the house, cursing and swearing. They were not able to find anything worth stealing, and Nasruddin could tell they were getting more and more angry.

Finally, one of the robbers opened the cupboard door and discovered Nasruddin there, cowering in his nightshirt.

“What are you doing in this cupboard?” the robber yelled at him.

“I’m hiding here in shame,” said Nasruddin apologetically, “because there is nothing worth stealing in my house.”

Missive #393 Published 22 November 2024

62. Nasruddin Was Robbed

Nasruddin and his wife returned home after a long journey to find that robbers had broken into their home and stolen everything.

Of course, everyone had their own opinion about what had happened.

“You probably forgot to lock the door!” Nasruddin’s wife exclaimed.

“I told you to put bars on the windows!” said a friend.

“Leaving the house unattended for such a long time is very risky!” observed a neighbor.

Everyone chimed in, and they all blamed Nasruddin.

Finally, Nasruddin couldn’t take it anymore and shouted, “Is there no one here who will put the blame on the actual robbers?”

Missive #389 Published 15 November 2024

61. The Bread in the Pond

Nasruddin’s son was walking by the pond eating some bread. When he leaned over to look in the water, the bread fell out of his hand.

Then he saw that another boy in the pond had taken his bread, so he ran home crying and told his father what had happened. “Someone in the pond stole my bread!” he sobbed.

Nasruddin went to the pond and looked in the water. He saw a bearded man, about his own age.

“Hey there, old man!” he shouted. “You ought to be ashamed of yourself, stealing bread from a little boy like that.”

Missive #383 Published 8 November 2024

60. The Burglar in the Well

Nasruddin awoke to the sound of a burglar outside. He crept into the yard but saw nobody, and then he looked in the well. Sure enough, he saw a man’s face in the water.

“Don’t you even think about trying to escape!” he shouted down at the burglar.

He then rushed inside to get dressed. “I’ll fetch the police!” he said. “You go keep an eye on the burglar in the well!”

His wife hurried outside and peered down into the well.

“Oh, I see another one!” she shouted. “He must have brought his wife with him as an accomplice.”

Missive #378 Published 1 November 2024

59. Who Will Feed the Donkey?

Nasruddin and his wife were arguing about whose turn it was to feed the donkey. Finally they agreed: whoever spoke the next word would have to go feed the donkey.

So, neither one spoke a word all day.

And neither one spoke a word all evening.

In the night, a thief came and broke into their house.

Nasruddin saw him carrying away their clothes, their furniture, everything, but he said nothing at all.

In the morning, his wife saw what had happened and yelled, “We’ve been robbed!”

Nasruddin laughed in triumph. “And now you have to go feed the donkey!”

Missive #373 Published 25 October 2024

58. Nasruddin’s Two Wives

Nasruddin had two wives and he loved them both, but they were very jealous of one another, always competing for his affections.

In order to make peace in the house, Nasruddin got two identical green ribbons. He took each wife aside in private and gave her one of the ribbons. “Wear this under your clothes, but secretly; don’t show or tell anyone.”

The next time the two wives ambushed him, asking which of them he loved more, Nasruddin smiled and said, “All I will say is that the one wearing the green ribbon is the one I love the most.”

Missive #367 Published 18 October 2024

57. The Sound of a Cloak

Nasruddin and his wife were arguing loudly, and the neighbors heard everything, as usual.

But then there was a loud bump bump bump and finally a big thump.

The arguing stopped after that, and the neighbors wondered what had happened.

The next day one of the neighbors said to Nasruddin, “What happened last night? Is everything okay at your house?”

“Everything’s fine!” Nasruddin replied. “My wife just threw my cloak down the stairs.”

“I didn’t think a cloak could have made that much noise,” said the neighbor.

“Well,” Nasruddin admitted, “I happened to be wearing the cloak at the time.”