Nasruddin

Missive #438 Published 31 January 2025

72. Nasruddin’s Ladder

Nasruddin was fond of fruit, and he was also fond of raiding his neighbor’s orchards.

One night he had just lowered a ladder into someone’s orchard in order to raid it, but the orchard’s owner caught him in the act.

“What are you doing with that ladder?” the man shouted at him.

“Are you talking about this ladder?” asked Nasruddin. “Well, to tell the truth, I’m just trying to sell this ladder.”

“You can’t sell a ladder here!” the man replied.

“I beg to differ,” said Nasruddin indignantly. “A ladder can be sold anywhere! Do you want to buy it?”

Missive #433 Published 24 January 2025

71. Nasruddin the Nightingale

Nasruddin had broken into an apricot orchard and climbed a tree.

As he was stuffing his pockets with apricots, the owner of the orchard discovered him.

“What are you doing up in that tree?” the man shouted.

Nasruddin said nothing.

“I repeat: what are you doing up there?”

“Are you talking to me?” asked Nasruddin.

“Yes, you!”

“I’m just a nightingale,” said Nasruddin. “This tree is my home.”

“If you’re a nightingale, sing!” said the man.

Nasruddin sang. He sang very badly.

“You don’t sound like a nightingale!”

“I’m a young nightingale,” said Nasruddin. “I’m still just learning to sing.”

Missive #424 Published 10 January 2025

69. Nasruddin and the Apple Tree

As he was riding past an apple orchard, Nasruddin was seized by a desire for apples, so he led his donkey up to one of the trees.

Then, standing on the donkey’s back, he reached up and grabbed hold of a branch.

Just as he was about to pick an apple, though, the orchard’s owner came running up. This startled the donkey, who bolted and left Nasruddin dangling from the branch.

“Get down from there!” the man shouted. “I’m going to have you arrested for stealing my apples!”

“I’m no thief,” Nasruddin shouted back. “I just fell off my donkey.”

Missive #419 Published 3 January 2025

68. Nasruddin and the Thief’s Shoes...

Did you happen to notice that the drone scares that were front page NEWS for about a week suddenly just went away. I don't know if the drones went away but the lame stream media is no longer reporting anything about them. I suspect it was a government operation trying to drum up some support for a war against Iran. When that proved to be a dud they just let it fade away. Now we have 'terrorist' attacks in the United States again. This time by men that were, or are, in the Army; just like the leftists said would happen. We need more laws against anyone that is now in or has been in any branch of the US military — look for it to come.

Missive #415 Published 27 December 2024

67. The Thief and Nasruddin’s Rooster

Nasruddin heard squawking from the henhouse during the night. “It must be a thief,” he thought, and he ran outside, where he found a man creeping away from the henhouse.

By the light of the moon, Nasruddin could clearly see a rooster’s tail-feathers sticking out from under the man’s cloak.

“Give me back my rooster, you thief!” shouted Nasruddin.

The man stood up straight and answered back, “Sir, please believe me! I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.”

“And do you think I’m going to believe you,” Nasruddin replied, “or am I going to believe the rooster’s tail-feathers?”

Missive #411 Published 20 December 2024

66. The Thief with a Wagon…

A friend wrote recently about a decrease in his Heart Rate Variability (HRV) which caused me to do some research. I didn't know much about it except that it was the 'pause' between heart beats. What I found out was that my Polar Pacer watch, through Polar Flow, provides that data for me. From what I have read the best time to measure HRV is when you first get up in the morning. Since I have been wearing my watch at night with the continuous heart rate option turned on I'm capturing that data.

Missive #406 Published 13 December 2024

65. Bags of Loot

Nasruddin’s wife woke him in the middle of the night. “I heard burglars!” she whispered. “I saw them leaving their bags of loot in the garden, and then I heard them come into our house. It sounds like they’re in the kitchen.”

Nasruddin leaped out of bed, pulled on his clothes, and began to climb out of the bedroom window into the garden.

“What are you doing?” his wife asked.

“I’m going to sneak outside,” Nasruddin whispered, “and steal the loot from other people’s houses while the thieves waste their time looking for something worth stealing here inside our house.”

Missive #402 Published 6 December 2024

64. The Burglar in the Dark

Nasruddin awoke to the sound of a burglar in his house. He got up, crept downstairs, and found the burglar stuffing all kinds of household objects into his sack.

“Excuse me,” said Nasruddin, startling the burglar, who stared at Nasruddin in surprise.

“It’s dark now, of course,” continued Nasruddin, “so it’s entirely possible you don’t realize what you’re doing. You seem to think these objects have some kind of value. But the fact is that they don’t have any value at all. I’ve seen these objects in broad daylight, and I can assure you that everything here is completely worthless.”

Missive #399 Published 29 November 2024

63. Nasruddin in the Cupboard

During the night, Nasruddin heard robbers ransacking his house, so he quietly crept downstairs and hid in the cupboard. He then listened as the robbers worked their way through the house, cursing and swearing. They were not able to find anything worth stealing, and Nasruddin could tell they were getting more and more angry.

Finally, one of the robbers opened the cupboard door and discovered Nasruddin there, cowering in his nightshirt.

“What are you doing in this cupboard?” the robber yelled at him.

“I’m hiding here in shame,” said Nasruddin apologetically, “because there is nothing worth stealing in my house.”